My life, on tumblr. Probably the most realistic me you can find online. Which means I am NSFW most of the time, offensive other times, and the rest of the time I am just weird.

 

xtec:

thothoward:

the funniest thing we do to alligators is duct tape their mouths shut when we need to handle them. imagine being a creature so ancient and undefeatable that you haven’t changed in thousands of years being rendered basically defenseless by a piece of plastic

image

SHUT

candiikismet:

badbootyshakinpickanosis:

blkbutterfly816:

swolizard:

image

I’d pay top dollar to watch this for an hour

Why isn’t any form of martial arts in the Olympics

This is the most badass thing I’ve seen all year

This don’t even make no sense! Damn

melon-official:

slightmayhem:

attentiondeficitstarscream:

if you’re offline or away and i message you something (like a link to a meme or a picture or w/e) honestly just assume that i’m just leaving it there for when you get back and not expecting you to answer straight away. i don’t need you to respond with “hey, sorry, i wasn’t at the computer!” or anything. i was leaving u a gift for later.

This also applies if you’re online and just don’t want to or have the energy to deal with humans in the moment. Just because we have the ability to reply in real time does not mean we have the obligation.

im like a cat i drag the posts to ur doorstep and if ur not there it’s ok, the post will be on ur porch for later

(Source: attentiondeficitstarscream)

lefttreephantom:
“ susiethemoderator:
“ wafflebloggies:
“that first bottle dead ass looks like it’s gonna make you shoot crows out of your hands
”
the first bottle was also full of liquidized cocaine
”
So it will make me feel like I can shoot crows...

lefttreephantom:

susiethemoderator:

wafflebloggies:

that first bottle dead ass looks like it’s gonna make you shoot crows out of your hands

the first bottle was also full of liquidized cocaine

So it will make me feel like I can shoot crows out of my hands

valkyrieraisingcain:
“ heatandapathy:
“This user is still gaining porn bot followers
”
This user has seen an increase in porn bot followers. ”

valkyrieraisingcain:

heatandapathy:

This user is still gaining porn bot followers

This user has seen an increase in porn bot followers.

(Source: sharkboxes)